I should not have to beg for your attention.

I Always was the type of person who does not give up of what and whom I wanted, but, until when this is fair? I mean, sometimes I feel like I dont know my Worth, because some people say that I am such a amazing person, but meanwhile, I get reject for the ones I care, such as if I was one problem in their lifes.

Here we are, in the middle of a fucking pandemie, and guess what? You still not having time for me. I know, there still many things going on, such as, home office, online classes and take care of the house and the pets, but, damn, still you that busy?

Before this unusual situation, we plan to go out three weeks earlier, just to fit in our schedule, and sudenlly three days before it, you need to cancel the plans because now you have something that you cant cancel. What a funny pespective, I mean, I know life is more than our relationships, but, how many time can we give a fuck for the deals we did?

All I know is that I shouldn’t have to beg for your attention. You know I’m your friend, and I care about you. I would like to be include in your normal life; including the bad moments of it. But it’s seems not enought, it’s seems to little, or maybe even too much, for all your expectations.

Talking about expectations, I think that is what all this is about: My expectations and how I handle it, or how I dont. Okay, now been serious: when do we feel like we can expect something from someone? People are free to do whatever they want to, whenever they want to. So, how it happens? And why it happens?

and now?

I have a theory: when we met someone, we cant compare the before and after of this indivual: a before with this person never ever existed, this literally means that anything and everything that the person do is enought for us if it’s matches with our truths and believes. But after a while, we get used with this habits and if it goes against what we got used, we get dissapoint.

So, the thing is: even that life is just a breath and it’s so ephemeral, our relationships aren’t.

That’s why expectations exist: they shape our interactions and our behavior towards what we have right now. If we dont get dissapointed, this means that we are aligned as well as the ones that we relate. Otherwise, we should stop and see what is going on: do we still the same indivuals of when we started? Did we grow up toghther? If not, whay? How can we change it?

When both individuals  know that the friendship is important, suddelnny this conversation will come up. If it did not, or if it did, but there wasnt changes, I have some bad News for you: it’s time to move on. Let me tell you why: more that you try, bigger your expectations will get, what will create a expectation point that will never be achieve.

Friends with benefits: one of my favorites movies about relationships.

So, relax. Take your time, take your pants off, drink tea, or maybe wine, dance by your own, sing, read a book… Let you mind explore a new way to see things. Let it flow, let go the pressure, what have to stay,will. You aren’t TV or social medias that must to fight for people attention, otherwise will stop to exist. You are you, a complete human begin. No need somebody that forget or dont respect it. Smile and enjoy your journy, it’s the only you have!